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Divorce after So Many Years of Married Life? Is It Right?

We may be sitting at other side of the table and probably don’t have the right to comment on a sensitive issue of this sort. The person who may be reading it might identify this piece of content with the bad years which he has spent with his wife and would be recollecting all the memories and experienced he may have faced in his married life.

Divorce After So Many Years of Married Life

Discussing on the aspect as to why people get divorced after so many years is not my motive here. Rather my motto is to bring out those sensitive issues which compel a couple to such an extent that despite been married for so many years in their life, they are forced to part ways and move on with their lives, closing their chapter for ever in their book of life! Imagine the circumstances from which they have gone through which forced them to act in such a direction…a divorce after 20, 30, and sometimes even 40 years of their married lives!

For most of the people, divorce comes as a relief for a highly pressurized cooker, waiting to get burst after so many years! If you ask me, it is always better to start a fresh life, if you feel that after so many compromises, you are simply not able to gel with the person – a person whom you call your better half! What is the use of this “better half” when you simply can’t see his/ her face for even five minutes of your life? Every time you sit together, you people end up fighting over minor issues or just don’t match up with your common ideas. Is this what we call a better half – or rather HUSBAND OR WIFE?

A recent incident of Al Gore reminded me of this topic, and here I am, penning down my thoughts on this not-so spoken issue in today’s busy world. The couple is believed to split after 40 years of their marriage!

Okay, now let us discuss some of the reasons as to why couples tear apart even after so many years of their marriage:

  • Extra Marital Affairs or Attraction outside the Wedlock: This is one of the biggest facets which lead to divorce, no matter how many years have passed after marriage. Either husband or the wife, who ever succumbs to the extra marital affair starts showing cold shoulders to the other one, hence leading to this ultimate demon called DIVORCE.
  • Lack of Communication and Disclosure: This is another reason for parting apart. A lot of marriages begin as fairy tales, but when the main protagonists of this fairy tale start losing contact with each other, it leads to lack of communication. The gap becomes so long over the years that DIVORCE becomes the only solution!
  • Not Showing Honesty: Some couples start hiding things. They start hiding minor issues which leads to the closure of even big important things in their lives. Eventually when the other spouse starts acknowledging these things, the matter leads to big fights and eventually SEPARATION!
  • Significant Changes in appearance of the Spouse: It is true that emotional bond plays a huge role in marriages, but physical attraction is critical too. Both the spouses should look their level best, no matter at which stage of their marriage they are. Hence, the spouse gets indulge into Infidelity, as he or she doesn’t seem to be at all interested in the other spouse anymore.
  • Boredom and Personality Shift: Some people are so restless that they want a new thing every moment. Spouse may be one of them. These people tend to get bore very easily and hence start looking for divorce. It depends on their personalities. They may all of a sudden depict their boredom after 20 years of marriage and say that they want a divorce. In addition, personality shift also plays a huge role in separation! “PEOPLE CHANGE AFTER MARRIAGE.”
  • Children: After the honeymoon phase of the marriage is over, couples try to recreate their romance factor by creating children. But sometimes, this may have an opposite affect. The additional responsibilities may lead to extra burdens, more quarrels and hence BREAK-UP!
  • The marriage becomes loveless after certain years of time. So, couples don’t care for each other anymore and hence, divorce becomes the last step of the ladder.

So couples just try and make sure that your marriage does not end up being victim of either of the above reasons! Cherish every moment spent with your spouse and try to rekindle love every single second! ;)

16 Responses to Divorce after So Many Years of Married Life? Is It Right?

  1. aakanksha says:

    If the relation is going no where, It is better to part ways rather than sulking endlessly

  2. rakesh chauhan says:

    It is right. So many people want changes in our life.

  3. rakesh chauhan says:

    please read “their life” instead of “our life”

  4. shalini says:

    The pain of divorce can affect u long. Communication is the total key. If you don’t have it…your marriage will not stay alive i don’t believe in re marriage!!!!!

  5. ajay sharma says:

    Couples when going through motions of parenthood and work and friends do not get much time to ponder upon mutual issues. Then the children grow up and leave to set up their own world. Men and women retire from their professional lifes. For women the phase to be without children is an extremely difficult phase and for men life without work is equally challenging. Suddenly, husband and wife has nobody but each other to live with. AND that is mostly full time. In an age where both spouses are well qualified and informed and have been busy through their lives, this becomes a hugely challenging situation. Then they start noticing things about each other which – surprisingly- they would not have noticed for years and decades of living together.

    In addition there would have been many situation where couple would have actually divorced earliar but for affect it would have on children. With children out of picture, they finally feel it is a good time to get on with their lives.

    There would also be instances where one of the partners would like to take the life easy. Afterall, one cannot be running around in mid-60′s. The other partner feels no such need and wishes to get on with life. So the separation and divorce.

    But fact remains that such situation – of divorces and separations in mid-50′s and 60′s – are exceptions and not norms. Actually, this is the phase of life when one needs a companion and who better as a companion then the spouse or partner with whom one has lived through life!

  6. ajay sharma says:

    @ Rakesh – tu to phas gaya ab…

  7. Nona Gill says:

    All relationships in life become stagnant and loose their charm after a period of time, with the relationship of a man and a women topping the list. There is a need to re establish it from time to time. A relationship should help you grow in your life as an individual , but instead if it is pulling you down and getting the worst out in you, it is time to move on for the better.

  8. shyamolee says:

    Infidelity defines no age bar…unfortunately, human impulses aren’t watched by any legislation…

  9. Sita says:

    These days, everyone is so much busy in their own lives, that they are not left with pure emotional feelings for the partner… I think emotional attachment is more important to keep alive your any kind of relationship.

  10. Sulekha says:

    The given points are true…but who is there to listen to all these points…after all its a human life…this happens when you are not happy or satisfy with your spouse….have to understand each situation of each other and solve the problem…get marry once or n number of times situation will be the same…if not satisfied with the other one and again look forward for the third one….so i would suggest..marriage is made in heaven and opportunity is given by god….don’t insult him and jus stick to one and let clear all the problem….get closer to the spouse discuss everything happens with your life as an individual..lets do this and leave rest thing to god…

  11. aakanksha says:

    “Marriages are made I heaven”- this idiom is left to just a small statement in today’s materialistic world! When bad things happen in marriage, you cant help it… So it’s better to stop sulking, or make compromises and just move on with your life – by separating apart. What’s the need of ruining yours and your partner’s life?
    If u r not happy and then say u r not happy.

  12. Richa says:

    If two person are not happy with each other and can not live together, divorce can be the solution but only 1 person wants to take the dovorce because of own selfishness or because of extra maritical affair ………… seriousely, I do not have words to discribe the pain of other partner.

  13. preeti gupta says:

    divorce of those couples who do not have kids is o k but divorce of couples with kids is extremely unfortunate for kids as they suffer the most because of their parental broken relationship.

  14. Shilpa Tambe says:

    Respect each other, respect each other’s choices, likes and dislikes, respect each other’s parents and professions, nothing will come in between. And still if does not help, better say good bye, again in a respectful manner. YES I AGREE WITH PREETI, IF KIDS ARE THERE, ONE MUST THINK AT LEAST 1000 TIMES…

  15. Sam says:

    Long-term marriages need to evolve, like everything else in life. Often times complacency is the nail in the coffin, along with growing in different directions. If there isn’t a strong love bond and attraction to begin with, often the factors/stress of raising children, navigating finances over the years (formative years when children are at home) can build to a simmering resentment. You’re not the same person you were at 25 as you are at 50 … same thing goes for your marriage. If you’ve grown and evolved, your marriage should too. Many people will stay together because of fear of being alone, fear of trying to attract a new partner, and financial restrictions, however it doesn’t mean that this relationship cannot be resurrected. It depends on how much effort or interest two people really have in each other and staying together. For a lucky few, their marriage can be a harmonious alignment and they feel truly fortunate for picking a great spouse. For most, it’s something that needs to either be worked on, thought about or left.

  16. Hans says:

    My wife had an affair when our only child was seven. I worked many hours and had to spend a lot of time out of town to support the two of them. My wife said she was lonely, but if she really loved me, loneliness would not have been a reason. It was only an excuse. We stayed together only for the sake of our child. It was probably the biggest mistake we could have made. Now twenty-five years later, we realize that. She could have been happy with the other man, and I wouldn’t have been suspicious every time I had to leave town. We both tortured and guilted ourselves into believing that we were doing what was right for everyone. When we told our daughter that we decided to go our separate ways, her response was “Thank God!” After all of these years, we found that she wasn’t happy with our loveless marriage either. She said she grew up watching other kids parents be affectionate and happy, and she was never sure she’d be able to recreate that kind of happiness in her own life because it was not the way we lived. We were very poor examples for her. My wife felt trapped in our marriage because of our daughter, and that along with the betrayal and distrust I felt because of her affair caused extreme stress on both of us.

    Everyone has a right to be happy, and that’s what we need to teach our children.

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