All married couples reading this buzz would agree with me. Barring some orthodox countries where sex is prohibited and considered as a hazard before marriage, stats from advanced countries have shown that the frequency of sex and foreplays reduces to almost half after marriage.

Couples who used to get involve in each other four times a week before tying knots, have sex just once in a week after getting married. Bad huh! This survey from UK has really proved the point that marriage makes your life dull! But does that really mean that one should not get married? No! But the point has been proved… Marriage is NOT good for your sex life!

After three years of getting married, the frequency of sex reduces to less than half and sometimes even nil in some cases. The average turns out to be once in a week after three years of marriage as the couples taken in survey were 3,000 in number.

According to Daily Mail, six out of ten couples have confirmed this fact that marriage has completely destroyed the enthralling moments of their sex lives. In short, the excitement has almost finished! No enjoyment, nothing! Some just perform just for the sake of performing! Now what is that?

Another jaw-dropping fact which came out of the survey is that a little below 50 percent of all the couples involved in the survey think that their relationship involves friendship more than lover-ship. Is this what marriage leads them to? This survey has surely given us some hard but bitter facts to think! People who think that marriage strengthens their love, this survey is an eye opener for them! Wait a minute, this does NOT mean that marriage completely ruins the mutual love, but the survey is surely decked with some bitter facts! Isn’t it?

Also, the survey showed more than half of the couples have constantly blamed their hectic schedules which leave them tired and don’t allow them to be cozy with their partners on bed!

You may want to spend the rest of your life with someone of your choice- someone who is compatible, understands you, is funny and has all the qualities to be your life partner… but if he is NOT good in bed, your sex life would be spoiled, making a huge different in your relationship! (And who knows, the other partner starts seeking pleasure outside wedlock!)

In most cases, we tend to believe that men suffer from commitment phobia, but of late, women are being caught with this type of phobia. Relationships had never been so complicated like they are today. People get into relationships, but these relationships fail to achieve what they are meant to achieve. This happens because today’s generations do have commitment issues. As they, especially women are getting confident with their careers and comfortable with the new-found financial independence, they are losing grip on their very personal issues. So, what commitment phobia is all about and why does it sprout?

If we are to define commitment phobia, then it is the fear of getting involved or committed to anything. However, this phobia is often associated with relationships. It is that phobia that affects people at their personal level. The sufferers of this phobia are often concerned with their careers and other future perspectives. You may have acquainted some people or there may be friends around who say that they do not prefer a long-term relationship, while still they are into a relationship. Many of these people might be suffering from commitment phobia. But, you cannot say that they are not in a serious relationship. Of course, they are genuine and serious, but something holds them back when it comes to take their relationship to the next level.

Commitment phobia is often responsible for some of the unlikely decisions that some couples land in. Ever knew some people who have been very genuine with their relationships, but eventually had to part ways? They can be the ones who were hit by this phobia in different stages of their relationships. And this, obviously, is not a nice thing to observe. You might be wondering when two persons love each other and can be happy together, why they cannot be together for the rest of their lives? A big question, indeed!

So, why people suffer from commitment phobia? Well, disturbed childhood memories, involving parental issues can have a great impact on children. As they grow up, these unhealthy memories can even have deeper impact on their lives and this creates unwillingness in getting committed into a relationship.

Some people also refrain from being committed because they do not want to revisit their past (where they were being rejected or have had troubled relationships). They make conscious efforts not to face similar situations in their new relationships. So, they find themselves safer and happier not being committed! There can be other reasons that make people apprehensive of getting involved in a committed relationship.

This phobia can often be treated by the sufferers themselves, however, depending on the level of suffering, people can also seek professional help! No matter how one treats commitment phobia, the important thing is that it should be discarded from one’s mind if he/she does not want a genuine relationship to suffer!

With the popularity of live- in relationships, I really feel whether marriage holds that importance in our lives as it used to be earlier? There cannot be a straight “yes” or “no” answer to this question. But live-in relations have definitely put down the significance or I can say the need of marriage in today’s times.

Live-in relations is all about sharing your life with your partner or living with him/her without getting married either religiously or legally. There is no such rule in our constitution that stops the couples to be in a live- in relationship. India is a very religious and culturally rich country where marriage plays a very significant role or I wouldn’t be wrong in saying that it is a pre-requisite for any couple to start their life together. But now the scenario is changing and more couples are adopting the culture of living-in together.

There are many reasons for the growing popularity of this concept amongst the youth. No doubt the world is truly moving at a fast pace and people have different lifestyles and nature, so it becomes very important for partners to check if they are compatible with each other. Here, live-in relations really help a lot as couples can see if they can spend their entire life together. They can judge whether they can adjust with the nature and the lifestyle of the other person.

With the rising number of divorces, with couples not being able to adjust with each other has encouraged people to live with their partners before deciding on getting married. Broken marriages are the worst as it brings disharmony not just in the lives of the couples but in the lives of their children as well. And I believe a live-in relationship really helps a couple to decide what is best for them.

Another important reason for this trend is that the youth is very independent. Gone are the days when parents used to find out the match for their children and they would happily agree with them. But now everybody wants that his /her life partner must be of his/her own choice who could share some level of similarity and interest. And one can judge if his/her partner shares that same wavelength or not. A live-in relationship is a western concept which has come to India and is now growing quite popular with the Indians.

One would think that parents may object to this kind of a relationship as it goes against the Indian ethics and norms but it is very surprising that there are few parents who do agree and support this system. I guess they also feel that live-in relationships can save many marriages from breaking up. But there is no surety that couples won’t be divorced after living together but there can be lesser possibilities.

The whole world is changing and one has to move on with times. Live-in relationships as a pre-marital concept may sound very weird to our grandparents but it is definitely the need of our times. But no matter what, ultimately we would want to settle with one person for forever in our life. Therefore, even if concepts like live-in relationships have emerged but they can never replace the significance of marriage in our life. Because ultimately, the stability comes from a marriage only and a live-in relationship is more like an open relationship which is loose and scattered.

Killing of girl for boy preference is quite a common practice in some Asian countries especially in India and China. In India, exploitation of women such as dowry deaths and sati is  a reality. These practices originated in India long time back but they are still prevalent in today’s times. India is developing as a nation but these orthodox and inhuman practices pull us back from our forward moving steps. Female feticide is the most brutal violence against women. It is a practice of girl child abortion after sex determination of the child in the womb of mother.

Female feticide is leading to declining sex ration between man and woman which is great cause of worry for the sustenance of human race in world. In India there are about thirty five to forty million girls and women are found missing from its total population. In fact, in some regions of the country, the sex ratio has gone down to 800 girls to 1000 boys. This is truly a serious problem which needs to be handled in a sensible way.

Many non governmental organizations and social communities have come forward to spread the awareness about grave consequences of female feticide amongst people. Now there are many NGOs and help lines running by government to encourage people not to practice female feticide. Women are extremely important for recreation activities, without woman human race can not progress and sustain.

Recently news came in the ‘The Asian ‘newspaper which depicts the growing awareness amongst people towards female feticide and how they are taking measures to stop this practice. Gayatri Parivar priests are a marriage community in Kanpur who performs the religious rituals of marriage for couples. They have introduced a very innovative and creative way to make people grow sensitive towards women exploitation and ask them to take a vow that is not to practice female feticide. In Hindu marriage, there are seven pheras (seven rounds) that a couple takes around fire god; it’s a religious ceremony in marriage. But now Gayatri Parivar Priests have added one more phera which couples will have take to promise that they will not encourage any form of women exploitation and female feticide.

Manoj, a representative of this parivar says that they implemented this idea from June 21. And they are very committed to their new initiative as they do not accept any proposal from couples if they do not obey to take eight pheras.

Gayatri Parivar has taken the responsibility to remove this social evil from their society and so trying to make Hindu marriage less ritualistic. In fact, their move is receiving an appreciation from younger generation who are breaking free with religious rigidity and orthodox to contribute towards society.Gayatri parivar believes that eight phera will not be harming the sentiments of Hindu religion but they are only adding something meaningful to it.

The initiative of Gayatri Parivar is truly commendable and deserves genuine appreciation. But it is not only their responsibility but every ones and we should realize that. In metro politan cities like Delhi, cases of female feticide are found. Many educated couples goes to doctor for sex determination. This is surprising that our education has not been able to break free us from our orthodox beliefs.

With growing times, couples are realizing the significance of giving and taking enough space for each other to sustain the marriage relationship. In metropolitan city like Delhi there are many couples who are married and both the partners are working. But they share a kind of distance relationship as their job needs are such that they have to travel a lot. In such case, giving space to each other becomes an important need to keep the relation going.

There are many friends of mine whose parents are constantly traveling for their work, so many a times they go for family holidays with either of the parent. In fact, in some families the role of a mother is taken by father because their  mother mostly stays outside owing to her work commitments but father’s job is home based. So, respecting each others commitments in individual life, the roles and duties can be inter changed with time. Some couples even survive long distance relationship for many years because situation demands so. Gone are the days when wife used to sacrifice their career or husband used to change their jobs just because they wanted to stay together. Now the scenario has changed and so are the priorities and to keep the relation going, one has to adjust with the needs of the other partner as well.

Recent survey conducted by Hindustan Times –C survey taken in metropolitan cities like Delhi, Bangalore, Chandigarh and Mumbai in which around 2,206 youth aged 16 to 40 took part responded to various questions. One of the questions was about the importance of space in relationship and the other was if they think that long distance relationship can sustain. About fifty per cent of them said their answers in yes and agreed that space is extremely important in relation.

Couples with different tastes and likings can live with each other comfortably if they give enough respect to each others individuality and freedom of choice. With family, friends and work buddies plays the same significant role in our lives. And the changing lifestyle of every individual is another reason that freedom of choice is extremely important for any relation to keep going. Anuttama Banerjee , a Kolkata based marriage counselor says that now a days more couples are hesitant to get  too much emotionally involved in a marriage and hence look at their relation from practical point of view.

Couples prefer to hang around with their own friends and buddies to avoid any conflict and trouble. They do not force each other to go out each other; rather they prefer to understand each other’s liking and moods. In fact many couples go for holidays alone and have separate bank accounts to maintain the financial space. These are newly adopted methods to keep the marriage conflict free and avoid any cases of divorce. But there are many flaws of having too much space in a relation. Too much space and distancing can make the couples vulnerable to extra marital affairs and zero tolerance. Everything in extreme is bad but balancing can resolve many issues. So, this can be the funda for the changing scenario which would benefit the couples to the maximum extent.

The story begins like this: The man is 45 years of age, and has an American spouse. But the story takes a turn when it took him a long span of as long as 17 years to convince the officials of Federal Immigration that his marriage to the American is genuine and not for the purpose of getting a green card. In short, the seventeen years old battle ran just for the sake of convincing the immigration people that the marriage is authentic!

Inderjit Singh, the concerned man is a cabbie. He entered the country in the year 1992, but was barred from getting a spousal green card under stringent marriage visa laws prevailing at that time.

The irony is that the couple was subjected to five interviews from the immigration officials, in addition to filing three additional petitions, but ended up getting failed every single time. Not to forget the time and money spent in this tedious process which has taken 17 years, but still have not reached its meeting end. The journey is till unfinished for them. The couple had to take loans and have almost spent 20,000 dollars on the whole cost spent on this immigration case.

The case states that the man didn’t even go to attend the funeral of his father in India, knowing to the fact that he would not be granted entry in the US premises again.

Reports say that this is not an exception as many cases have been reported which have caused couples to lie in a state of limbo.

Most of us do not know that France does not permit surrogacy legally. A gay father from France is now stranded in India with his twins who were born in Mumbai via surrogacy in April end. But if the father intends to return to France, he would either be detained or he has to leave his children in India only.

This French person Paul Augustine (name withheld) who is a researcher by profession wishes to have a family with his partner for 14 years. His dream finally came true when the twin boys were born in the L H Hirandandani Hospital in Mumbai.

The birth certificates were taken to the French Consulate by Augustine and he asked for the transfer of the names to the birth registry in France. This transfer is important for the children to obtain French passports.

However, the French embassy is yet to reach a decision regarding this transfer of names. This is because France does not permit the concept of surrogacy. When it comes to the same sex couples and homosexuals in general, the laws are specifically strict. This is especially for those who would want to be parents via surrogacy.

Augustine has been in India since February and slowly running short of finances while his patience is being tested. As per him, he already knows of similar situations that have faced by other gay fathers from France. He still hopes for the best since those fathers were finally successful in their endeavor.

He is trusting that the French government would decide on more a benevolent note. This is because he is following the laws and has not broken any by opting for surrogacy outside France. This way, he has neither violated the laws in India.

Relationships are a sensitive arena for us humans. After all, the individual differences creep in all the time…and thus, no two couples are similar! Sometimes it takes movements to realize that you are with that special someone where as in other cases, it takes a lifetime. But once you know, you would want to spend the rest of your life with that special someone and you would want that life to start that very movement itself.

But as time passes, the sparks tend to disappear which are usually substituted by the pressures of the daily chores, children and ultimately leads to fights. Agreed that every couple has its own set of fights! However, keeping the sparks alive needs mutual effort to be put in. After all, just like any other aspect, there are rules for marriage as well. So, here’s what you can start doing incase you belong to one of those couples which need to enliven their sparks:

• Anger is always the evil in any relationship. So, Rule No.1: Never end the day with a fight! Understood that you are tired and stressed after a whole day at work but fighting would only worsen the situation. It’s best to leave the situation till you are fresh to think upon with an open mind.
• Honesty is the key to any successful relationship. Being honest helps keep both the partners on an equal level. The key point to be noted here is that the spouse cares and is concerned about you. So, being honest and open about all aspects is the best policy. This would be the best way to respect the partner.
• Try and not to stay apart from each other from more than a day. We are already living in a fast paced world where time is a constraint. So, try to spend the little time that you have together. Take a vacation together…it is the best way to relive the days of the old!
• Try and avoid having a fight as far as possible…it is simply the road to divorce. Here, avoiding does not mean restricting yourself. Try and find better ways to resolve conflicts. This could be done without blaming one another during the process. In other words, try to be healthy in your approach.
• Having children means responsibilities…they should always come first! But this does not mean that your relationship should take a backseat. That is an absolute NO! Your kids would only be happy if they that their parents are happy being together. Thus, both should be equally prioritized. Make out time for everything!

It does not end here. There are many similar aspects as a relationship means two people being together as one. And so, working on being together is of utmost importance. Do share in your views!

Elderly immigrants to Canada are not facing positive circumstances ahead of them. There are reports and speculations that elder abuse is coming into news day by day. These aged immigrants are abused by workers and the irony is that their own family members are not left behind when it comes to abusing them.

Happily settled couples often call up their fathers and mothers to the country, but rather than taking care of them in their old age, they end up keeping them as their maids, cleaners or for the job of baby sitting.

In one of the cases, an aged woman received sponsorship from her son and daughter-in-law, only to become the maid of their home, back in the year 1995. The woman in her 70s now was not given the freedom to talk to anyone on phone calls or talk to visitors. In addition, she was physically abused by her alcoholic son, but later, she was taken in by another relative.

Now various communities, including the Greater Toronto community and Newcomer Women’s Services are working in favor of these elderly immigrants. Maya Roy from one of these organizations elaborated that a majority of victims are not even aware of what an elder abuse is. Some of these victims are not willing to voice out their opinions, as they are not willing to spread the news in the society or they are too attached to their grandparents to take any hard step!

In an attempt to curb down the violence, the Government of Canada is coming out with certain strict steps to fight against the abuse, an abuse which exists in various forms: mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse!

I have many married friends who off all the questions have one obvious question for me…that is “When am I getting married?” My answer is very sweet and simple to them, “I am happily single.” It takes a while for them to digest this fact. But its not there fault after all. They have been brought up in such a manner that it seems as a matter of fact and something rather odd in my statement.

Now let’s take the same instance with a slight twist. This time you are asked a question whether you are single or married and you say that you are committed and live with your partner. For your orthodox friends, some of them would sure be horrorstruck while others would react as if you have committed a sin. Most of the unmarried but committed couples out there would surely relate to what I am saying.

This is the clear demarcation in the changing rules of the society – The Old vs. The New! But looking at it with a practical perspective, what is the major difference between married and committed couples? If looked at it in theory, it’s just a matter of certificate. While in practice, there are a number of differences.

The social stigma is the biggest challenge that such couples have to face in a changing society. These tend to creep into daily aspects of life such as renting an apartment. The weary landlords could definitely turn out to be not so enthusiastic about lending their house. So, now with changing times, even they have developed brains to ask for a marriage certificate.

Another instance is easily of the neighbors reacting to it the moment they get to know about it. They might not reciprocate to it that well! But who cares? As far as you are happy with your spouse, nothing in the world seems to matter.

Now, with the Supreme Court backing such couples permitting live-in relationships as not being immoral, it is only a matter of time. More so, it is the financial independence teamed with being out there by self which brings about the zing and excitement for most youngsters. With this, one gets a fair chance to test the waters. What more could one in a relationship ask for?

It might not be that there are hundred percent chances that a relationship would end in wedlock. But then, it would make an individual more responsible and see the other side of the concept. Additionally, he/she would get a fair idea what being married to that person is going to be all about. And so, it definitely gives a chance to know the spouse better as well as the compatibility quotient.

So, whether you tie the knot or not, it depends on you as an adult to decide whether take the plunge which might change your life forever. However, it is important to keep both your head and heart in place before actually jumping to a conclusion. In other words, think it through carefully…Good Luck!